Narrative writing was the first mode
of writing we studies this year. We learned that narratives always have a plot,
a sub-plot, characters, conflicts, a point of view, theme and a setting. Sense
this was out first piece we wrote, I tried to include all of these, but it was
a draft and some came out better than others.
I thought this assignment was
challenging to write because the topic was so broad. We could write about
anything that had to do with 9/11, as long as it was a narrative. Although it
was challenging to write, I enjoyed creating my own story and characters.
This paper was also the first time
we self- edited out own work. From answering questions such as what are the
strengths and weakness’s of our papers, where is the thesis, what point of view
did you write from, organization, events and word choice, I was able to
identify many areas that I needed to improve on. The first thing I noticed was
the lack of a title on the paper. This was a poor decision on my part because
there was nothing to pull someone into reading my paper. No one was interested
in a four-page paper with no title and they had no idea what it was about. My
thesis needed to be a little bit clearer, so that the reader could fully relate
to what they were reading. Also, some of the examples were way too wordy, and I
attempted to add too many “big” words to make it sound smart. In a narrative,
you don't always have to sound like a Harvard graduate, but sometimes smaller
word choices attract readers of all ages.
After re-reading my piece a couple
months after writing it, I realized that it defiantly was a draft. I still
couldn't think of an effective title, therefore I skipped it and left it until
the end. Once I was done revising, I went back to the thought of a title, and I
came up with unwanted tears. I thought this was interesting because it linked
the last sentences of my revised piece, “Not a day goes by without tears, not a
day goes by without remembrance of my wife. She was inspiration, not only to me
but to my family as well. My children are just as confused as I am, although
they are not old enough to fully understand. I wonder what cruel soul could do
such a thing, take so many lives and tear families apart. I miss you and love you
forever, Anne.” To the beginning, which is the title. I also think that
unwanted tears would draw someone’s’ attention and make them want to read the
paper.
The next major revision I made was
in the introduction. I deleted the entire original introduction and started
from scratch. My draft introduction was horrible, and did not do anything to
help my paper, so I started new. I used the questioning technique as a first
line of the introduction, which helps catch the interest of the reader. I
deleted all the unnecessary details added and described how the main character
was feeling, which was cause by the story in the paper. The thesis is still
indirect, because this is not an informational essay, it is a story. The thesis
in this revised intro was “I’m in tears just thinking about her, I want her
back”, which implies that it was a memorable event in his lifetime.
After revising this draft, I have
realized that I have come a long way in this course, and writing is easier.
Sometimes (in the original of this paper) writing to sound smart or too complex
is not the best because it confuses the reader. I deleted many unneeded phrases
and just told the story out front.
Even after revising this paper, I
feel like I still could use a couple more drafts to better my ideas and the
story line itself. I think that a totally different story line may be more
interesting to the reader. I kept my original story line because I liked the
ideas and the characters. They are a normal American family and their days were
very relatable to any working-middle-class American.
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